Finding Community IN THIRD PLACES

Looking for warmth, human connection and things to do this winter? Here’s where Manitobans are gathering.

By Valerie Howes | Illustrations by Kate Traynor

Illustration: four people sit at a table in a library playing a board game.

Some of the most meaningful connections happen in the most ordinary places. On your daily walk at the local park, you chat with other dog owners and catch up on neighbourhood news. You joke around with fellow crafters while knitting socks at the coffee shop stitching circle. At the local library’s games night, you’re guaranteed a great evening of backgammon and banter, no matter who shows up on the other side of the table.

What do these experiences have in common? They all occur in third places, sometimes called third spaces — shared venues that offer a sense of belonging, connection and community. With the rise of online life and fewer publicly accessible, low-cost spaces where people can congregate, many are concerned about the loss of third places in their communities. But there are still vibrant, active examples across the province, if you know where to look.

Illustration: A woman in a yellow shirt cuts and pastes paper shapes into a notebook.

What is a third place?

If home is our first place and work or school our second place, a third place is an informal environment where we go to relax, socialize with friends and acquaintances and meet new people. Sociologist Ray Oldenburg, who coined the term in the 1980s, defined third places as accessible physical settings that encourage conversation, conviviality and community.

Why third places matter

Today many of us work from home, communicate through social media, and use the technology at our fingertips to bank, shop and entertain ourselves, all without interacting face to face with other humans. While online life is convenient, it can also be isolating.

Research from the Heart & Stroke Foundation of Canada and the Canadian Mental Health Association shows that in-person social connection is associated with better mental health, lower cardiovascular risk, even protection against cognitive decline. Debbie Laliberte Rudman, a Western University professor who researches third places, says that those spaces can help counteract loneliness. And in winter, when cold weather can drive us indoors, third places serve as spots to congregate, warm up and enjoy the company of others.

Third places aren’t just good for individual health. They also act as a kind of social glue that helps keep diverse communities connected, caring and thriving. “There’s a lot of divisiveness in society — this feeling of ‘Who really belongs here?’ and ‘Who doesn’t belong here?’” says Laliberte Rudman. “Third places are really important for social cohesion.”

in-person social connection is associated with better mental health, lower cardiovascular risk, even protection against cognitive decline.

Third place movement across Manitoba

Community building and conversation at Neepawa Public Library

Neepawa, Man., is home to many newcomers seeking to put down roots, and it’s one of the province’s fastest-growing towns. “It’s a lively community and a great place to live,” says Jules Runne, communications and marketing coordinator for Western Manitoba Regional Libraries. Residents old and new find a sense of belonging at Neepawa Public Library, participating in free activities from Dungeons and Dragons to mahjong to quilting. As of this fall, they can also join Craft Club, a monthly get-together for artsy grown-ups who may not have picked up a glue stick or a pot of glitter since grade school.

At Craft Club, participants chat over tactile, messy and fun activities such as collaging bookmarks from cut-up magazines, carving pumpkins and knotting friendship bracelets. “I feel like people don’t always consider what it means to make things with their hands and how much that can do for your brain and your emotions,” says Runne.

While Craft Club is open to all adults, it has proven especially popular so far with working Gen Z and millennial women who want to unwind, create and connect in a no-pressure environment. Runne is a big believer in the icebreaking power of crafts. “Having something to focus on gives people something to do, and it allows them to relax and open up to each other more,” she says.

Illustration: two women knitting together in armchairs, with a basket of yarn at their feet.

Illustration: A woman in a pink sweater sits across from a man in a green striped shirt. They both chat while holding coffee cups.

Bonding and bannock at the Manitoba Indigenous Cultural Education Centre

“We’re surrounded by English on street signs, on the radio, on TV and everywhere we go,” says Dené Sinclair, strategy and development lead at the Manitoba Indigenous Cultural Education Centre. “Finding spaces where we can prioritize language with each other is really special.”

At the monthly Language Tables event, 20 to 30 people of all ages and levels of fluency in Anishinaabemowin (Ojibwe) and Nêhinawêwin (Cree) come together to chat over snacks, soup and bannock. The group includes students from the University of Winnipeg’s Indigenous languages immersion program; people reconnecting with their community and culture; and first-language speakers looking to meet up with peers and pass on cultural and linguistic knowledge to the next generation.

“There are a whole bunch of open-seating tables, so you can sit with whoever you wish, wherever you like,” says Sinclair. “We don’t have to be perfect, but we’re trying our best to speak our languages to each other.”

Conversation flows organically for the first hour, then first-language speakers facilitate an hour of games, themed discussions or storytelling. One elder, Ellen Cook, recently presented on birds. “We would talk about them in Cree, then talk about them in Anishinaabemowin, because we had fluent speakers who could tell us what the names were,” says Sinclair. “That was really fun. We’re grateful to have elders in the community who give so much.”

“Having something to focus on gives people something to do, and it allows them to relax and open up to each other more.”

Making spaces for friendly competition at Game Players Society

Want to get your game on? Once or twice a month, anywhere from a dozen to 34 people show up at Game Players Society (GPS) events in Winnipeg, which happen at Garbanzo’s, a sports pub at Polo Park, or at Shrugging Doctor Beverage Company.

While some regulars have been coming for more than a decade, newbies are always welcome. “You have people who are kind of dipping their toes in, so you don’t want to pull out a really dense game and scare them off,” says organizer Lindsay Bruce. She ensures a mix of strategic and lighter games, including GPS favourites Ticket to Ride, Settlers of Catan, Dominion and Seven Wonders.

Games nights are multi-generational. “There’s no looking around to find somebody who’s in your age group and just sitting with them. It’s mostly ‘Oh, what have they brought out that looks interesting? I think I’ll stick here!’” Bruce says.

Casual conversation grows naturally around topics such as pets (“There are a lot of cat lovers in our crew,” she says), travel and sometimes work. For people who are socially anxious or introverted, these gatherings can make being in a room full of people easier. “They’re focused on the game, so there’s not a lot of pressure to chat about outside things if you don’t want to,” Bruce says.

As the person behind the scenes making the magic happen, she says that watching people connect is the biggest reward. “It’s good to find a group of people you can share your interests with,” she says. “And when I see friendships develop, that’s really great.”

She has a sentimental reason, too, for making sure GPS thrives for years to come. “My partner and I met at a games night. It will always be special to me, because it brought us together.”

Illustration: three people sit around a wooden table playing cards.

Finding a third place

Looking for a third place of your own? They can be discovered in communities across the province. Finding one where you feel at home might take a little trial and error, but it’s worth exploring until you find the right fit. Start with something you love to do or want to try — whether that’s a sport, a creative pursuit, volunteering or simply drinking coffee — then see what’s on offer locally. Check local bulletin boards, browse your community’s social media pages, or search online for your preferred activity in your neighbourhood. Then all that’s left to do is show up regularly and get to know your neighbours. CAA